Devil's Dictionary: the publishing edition

Paperback Writer has a funny list of definitions of publishing terms, à la Devil’s Dictionary:

Copyright – the author’s legal right to ownership of the work under federal copyright laws that protects the author’s only means of income; said shaky laws should collapse at any moment.

Cover Art – the design of the book jacket, generally produced in-house by the publisher’s art department, all of whom are near-sighted psychotics who never actually read the book and routinely forget to take their meds.

E-book (electronic book) – a book published in electronic format that will be illegally copied a thousand times and, no matter how well-written, will not get any respect whatsoever from most of the publishing industry.

Editor – 1) a sadomasochist; 2)) a kind but crazy person who makes a career out of working with authors to improve their manuscripts; listens to their lies, tantrums and crying fits; extends their deadlines; meets with them over mystery chicken entrees at industry cons and suffers countless bouts of depression, con crud and tinitus as a result; 3) an industry professional who drinks Maalox or Jack Daniels for lunch.

Fiction – 1) a story created by an author that is then lifted, rewritten and published by another author; 2) anything you hear when an author’s lips are moving.

Link to part 1; link to part 2. Teresa Nielsen Hayden has an equally amusing list of her own in reply here. (Links via BoingBoing)

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